Ani Difranco - Canon (2007) by Ani Difranco (보컬) on maniadb.com

I opened the fire door
to four lips
none of which were mine
kissing
tightened my belt around my hips
where your hands were missing
and stepped out into the cold
collar high
under the slate grey sky
the air was smoking and the streets were dry
and I wasn't joking when I said
Good Bye
magazine quality men talking on the corner
French, no less much less of them then us
so why do I feel like something's been rearranged?
you know, taken out of context I must seem so strange
killed a cockroach so big
it left a puddle of pus on the wall
when you and I are lying in bed
you don't seem so tall
I'm singing now because my tear ducts are too tired
and my mind is disconnected but my heart is wired
I make such a good statistic
someone should study me now
somebody's got to be interested in how I feel
just 'cause I'm here
and I'm real
oh, how I miss
substituting the conclusion to confrontation with a kiss
and oh, how I miss
walking up to the edge and jumping in
like I could feel the future on your skin
I opened the fire door
to four lips
none of which were mine
kissing

I opened the fire door x 9

How can I go home
With nothing to say?
I know you're going to look at me that way
And say "What did you do out there?
And what did you decide?"
You said you needed time
And you had time

You are a china shop
And I am a bull
You are really good food
And I am full
I guess everything is timing
I guess everything's been said
So I am coming home with an empty head

You'll say "Did they love you or what?"
I'll say "They love what I do
The only one who really loves me is you"
And you'll say "Girl, did you kick some butt?"
And I'll say "I don't really remember
But my fingers are sore
And my voice is too"

You'll say "It's really good to see you"
You'll say "I missed you horribly"
You'll say "Let me carry that
Give that to me"
And you will take the heavy stuff
And you will drive the car
And I'll look out the window and make jokes
About the way things are

How can I go home
With nothing to say?
I know you're going to look at me that way
And say "What did you do out there?
And what did you decide?"
You said you needed time
and you had time

You had time...
You had time...
You had time...
You had time...

Buildings and bridges
Are made to bend in the wind
To withstand the world
Thats what it takes.
All that steel and stone
Are no match for the air, my friend.
What doesn't bend breaks
What doesn't bend breaks.

la da da da da...

We are made to bleed
And scab and heal and bleed again
and turn every scar into a joke.
We are made to fight
And fuck and talk and fight again.
And sit around and laugh until we choke
Sit around and laugh until we choke.

la da da da da...

Don't know who you were expecting...
Probably some bitch who does not budge.
With eyes the size of snow.
I may get pissed off sometimes,
But you seem like the type to hold a grudge
and in the end I just let go,
In the end I'll just let go...

la da da da da...

Buildings and bridges
Are made to bend in the wind,
To withstand the world
Thats what it takes.
All that steel and stone
Are no match for the air my friend,
What doesn't bend breaks
What doesn't bend breaks.

la da da da da da da la da da da da....

our father who art in a penthouse
sits in his 37th floor suite
and swivels to gaze down
at the city he made me in
he allows me to stand and
sollicit graffiti until
he needs the land i stand on
i in my darkened threshold
am pawing through my pockets
the receipts, the bus schedules
urgent napkin poems
and matchbook phone numbers
all of which laundering has rendered
pulpy and strange
loose change and a key
ask me
go ahead, ask me if i care
i got the answer here
i wrote it down somewhere
i just gotta find it
i just gotta find it

somebody and their spraypaint got too close
somebody came on too heavy
now look at me made ugly
by the drooling letters
i was better off alone
ain't that the way it is
they don't know the first thing
but you don't know that
until they take the first swing
my fingers are red and swollen from the cold
i'm getting bold in my old age
so go ahead, try the door
it doesn't matter anymore
i know the weakhearted are strongwilled
and we are being kept alive
until we're killed
he's up there the ice
is clinking in his glass
i don't ask
i just empty my pockets and wait
it's not fate
it's just circumstance
i don't fool myself with romance
i just live
phone number to phone number
dusting them against my thighs
in the warmth of my pockets
which whisper history incessantly
asking me
where were you

i lower my eyes
wishing i could cry more
and care less,
yes it's true,
i was trying to love someone again,
i was caught caring,
bearing weight

but i love this city, this state
this country is too large
and whoever's in charge up there
had better take the elevator down
and put more than change in our cup
or else we
are coming
up

Well the heat is so great
It plays tricks with the eye
It turns the road into water
Then from water to sky
And there's a crack in the concrete floor
That starts at the sink
Yea, there's a bathroom in the gas station
And I've locked myself in it to think

Back in the city
The sun bakes the trash on the curb
The men are pissing in doorways
And the rats are running in herds
And I've got a dream with your face in it
That scares me awake
I've put too much on my table
Now I've got too much at stake

And I might let you off easy
Yea I might lead you on
I might wait for you to look for me
And then I might be gone
There's where I've come from and where I'm going
And I am lost in between
I might go out to that phone booth
And leave a veiled invitation on your machine

And you'll stop me, won't you?
If you've heard this one before
Oh the one where I surprise you
By showing up at your front door
Saying, "Let's not ask what next
or how or why
I'm leaving in the morning
So let's not be shy"
Don't be shy

The door opens, the room winces
The housekeeper comes in without a warning
And I squint at the muscular motel lady
And say "Hey morning"
As she jumps her keys jingle
She leaves as quickly as she came in
And I roll over and taste the pillow with my grin
Well the sheets are twisted and damp
But the heat is so great
And I swear I can feel the mattress
Sinking underneath your weight
Boy your sleep is like a fever
And I'm glad when it ends
Oh the road flows like a river
And it pulls me round every bend

Stop me, won't you?
If you've heard this one before
Oh the one where I surprise you
By showing up at your front door
Saying, "Let's not ask what next
or how or why
I am leaving in the morning
So let's not be shy"
Don't be shy

Well the heat is so great
It plays tricks with the eye
It turns the road into water
Then from water to sky
And there's a crack in the concrete floor
It starts at the sink
There's a bathroom in the gas station
And I have locked myself in it to think

And you'll stop me, won't you?
If you've heard this one before
yeah the one where I surprise you
By showing up at your front door
Saying, "Let's not ask what next
or how or why
I am leaving in the morning
So let's not be shy"

You'll stop me, won't you?
If you've heard this one before
yeah the one where I surprise you
By showing up at your front door
Saying, "Let's not ask what next
how or why
I'm leaving in the morning
So let's not be shy"

Don't be shy
no dont be shy
no don't be shy
no don't be shy
come on fucker don't be shy

Squint your eyes and look closer
I'm not between you and your ambition
I am a poster girl with no poster
I am 32 flavors and then some
And I'm beyond your peripheral vision
So you might want to turn your head
'Cause someday you are gonna get hungry
And eat most of the words you just said

Both my parents taught me about goodwill
And I have done well by their names
Just the kindness I've lavished on strangers
Is more than I can explain
Still there's many who've turned out their porch lights
Just so I would think they were not home
And hid in the dark of their windows
Till I'd passed and left them alone
Hey, yo, hey
Oh, hey, yo, hey, yo
Oh, hey, yo, hey
Oh, hey, yo, hey, yo

God help you if you are an ugly girl
Course, too pretty is also your doom
'Cause everyone harbors a secret hatred
For the prettiest girl in the room
And God help you if you are a phoenix
And you dare to rise up from the ash
A thousand eyes will smolder with jealousy
While you are just flying past

And I'll never try to give my life meaning
By demeaning you
But I would like to state for the record
I did everything that I could do
I'm not saying that I am a saint
I just don't want to live that way
No, I will never be a saint
But I will always say

Squint your eyes and look closer
I'm not between you and your ambition
I am a poster girl with no poster
I am 32 flavors and then some
And I'm beyond your peripheral vision
So you might want to turn your head
'Cause someday you might find you are starving
And eating all of the words that you said
Oh, oh, hey, yo
Oh, hey, yo
Oh, hey, yo, hey, yo
Oh, hey, yo

Mm, mm, mm, mm
Mm, mm, mm, mm

Oh, hey, yo
Oh, hey, yo
Oh, hey, yo, hey, yo
Oh, hey, yo

life used to be life-like
now it's more like show biz
i wake up in the night
and i don't know where the bathroom is
and i don't know what town i'm in
or what sky i am under
and i wake up in the darkness and i
don't have the will anymore to wonder
everyone has a skeleton
and a closet to keep it in
and you're mine
every song has a you
a you that the singer sings to
and you're it this time
baby, you're it this time

when i need to wipe my face
i use the back of my hand
and i like to take up space
just because i can
and i use my dress
to wipe up my drink
i care less and less
what people think
and you are so lame
you always disappoint me
it's kinda like our running joke
but it's really not funny
i just want you to live up to
the image of you i create
i see you and i'm so unsatisfied
i see you and i dilate

so i'll walk the plank and i'll jump with a smile
if i'm gonna go down
i'm gonna do it with style
and you won't see me surrender
you won't hear me confess
'cuz you've left me with nothing
but i've worked with less
and i learn every room long enough
to make it to the door
and then i hear it click shut behind me
and every key works differently
i forget every time
and the forgetting defines me
that's what defines me

when i say you sucked my brain out
the english translation
is i am in love with you
and it is no fun
but i don't use words like love
'cuz words like that don't matter
but don't look so offended
you know, you should be flattered
i wake up in the night
in some big hotel bed
my hands grope for the light
my hands grope for my head
the world is my oyster
the road is my home
and i know that i'm better
off alone

i heard the sound of your bike,
as your wheels hit the gravel,
then your engine in the driveway
cutting off
and i pushed through the screen door
and i stood out on the porch
thinking fight, fight, fight
at all costs,
but instead i let you in,
just like i've always done
and i sat you down and offered you a beer
and across the kitchen table
i fired several rounds,
but you were still sitting there
when the smoke cleared.
and you came crawling back
to say that you wanna
make good in the end

and oh, oh,
let me count the ways
that i abhor you,
and you were never a good lay
and you were never a good friend
but, oh, oh, what else can i say...
i adore you

all i need is my leather,
one t-shirt and two socks,
i'll keep my hands warm
in your pockets
and you can use the engine block,
and we'll ride out to california
with my arms around your chest,
and i'll pretend that this is real
'cuz this is what i like best,
and you've been juggling two women
like a stupid circus clown
telling us both we are the one
and maybe you can keep me from ever being happy,
but you're not gonna stop me from having fun.
so let's go before i change my mind
i'll leave the luggage of all your lies behind
'cuz i am bigger than everything that came before

and you were never very kind,
and you let me way down every time
but oh, oh, oh what can i say...
i adore you

i heard the sound of your bike,
as your wheels hit the gravel,
then your engine in the driveway
cutting off

Think I'm going for a walk now. I feel a little unsteady.
Don't want nobody to follow me. . . 'cept maybe you.

I could make you happy you know if you weren't already.
I could do a lot of things. . .and I do.

To tell you the truth I prefer the worst of you.
Too bad you had to have a better half.

She's not really my type, but I think you two are forever
And I hate to say it, but you're perfect together

So fuck you
And your untouchable face
fuck you
For existing in the first place

And who am I
That I should be vying for your touch
Said who am I
I bet you can't even tell me that much

Two-thirty in the morning and my gas tank will be empty soon
Neon sign on the horizon Rubbing elbows with the moon

It's A safe haven of sleepless Where the deep fryer's always on
radio is counting down the top twenty country songs

And out on the porch the fly strip is waving like a flag in the wind
You know I don't look forward to seeing you again

You'll look like a photograph of yourself taken from far far away
And I won't know what to do. And I won't know what to say

Except fuck you
And your untouchable face
fuck you
For existing in the first place

And who am I
That I should be vying for your touch
Said who am I
I bet you can't even tell me that much

I see you and I'm so perplexed. What was I thinking?
What will I think of next? Where can I hide?

In the back room there's a lamp that hangs over the pool table
And when the fan is on it sways, gently side to side

And There's a changing constellation of balls as we are playing
I see Orion and say nothing the only thing I can think of saying

Is fuck you
And your untouchable face
fuck you
For existing in the first place

who am I
That I should be vying for your touch
Said who am I
I bet you can't even tell me that much

Said who am I
I bet you can't even tell me that much
Said who am I
Sombody just tell me that much

Said who am I
Somebody just tell me that much
Said who am I
Somebody just tell me that much
Said who am I
Somebody, somebody just tell me that much. . .

I do it for the joy it brings
because I'm a joyful girl.
Because the world owes me nothing
and we owe each other the world.
I do it because it's the least I can do.
I do it because I learned it from you
and I do it just because I want to
Because I want to.

Everything I do is judged
And they mostly get it wrong
But oh well.
'Cause the bathroom mirror has not budged
and the woman who lives there can tell
the truth from the stuff that they say.
And, she looks me in the eye
and says "would you prefer the easy way?
No? Well, okay, then ...
Don't cry."

I wonder if everything I do
I do instead
of something I want to do more?
The question fills my head.
I know there's no grand plan here
this is just the way it goes.
When everything else seems unclear
I guess at least I know

I do it for the joy it brings
because I'm a joyful girl
because the world owes me nothing
and we owe each other the world
I do it because it's the least I can do
I do it because I learned it from you
and I do it just because I want to
because I want to

in a coffee shop in a city
which is every coffee shop
in every city
on a day which is every day
i picked up a magazine
which is every magazine
read a story then i forgot it right away

and they say goldfish have no memory
i guess their lives are much like mine
and the little plastic castle
is a surprise every time
and it's hard to say if they're happy
but they don't seem much to mind

from the shape of your shaved head
i recognized your silhouette
as you walked out of the sun and sat down
and the sight of your sleepy smile eclipsed all the other people
as they paused to sneer at the two girls from out of town

and i said, "look at you this morning
you are by far the cutest
but be careful getting coffee
i think these people want to shoot us
or maybe there's some kind of local competition here
to see who can be the rudest"

people talk about my image
like i come in two dimensions
like lipstick is a sign of my decling mind
like what i happen to be wearing
the day that someone takes a picture
is my new statement for all womankind

and i wish they could see us now
in leather bras and rubber shorts
like some ridiculous new team uniform
for some ridiculous new sport
quick someone call the girl police
and file a report

in a coffee shop in a city
which is every coffee shop
in every city
on a day which is every day

They were digging a new foundation in Manhattan
And they discovered a slave cemetary there
May their souls rest easy
Now that lynching is frowned upon
And we've moved on to the electric chair

And I wonder who's gonna be president
Tweedle dumb or tweedle dumber?
And who's gonna have the big
Blockbuster box office this summer?
How about we put up a wall between houses and the highway?
And you can go your way, and i can go my way

Except all the radios agree with all the TVs
And the magazines agree with all the radios
And I keep hearing that same damn song everywhere I go
Maybe I should put a bucket over my head
And a marshmallow in each ear
And stumble around for another dumb-numb week
For another hum drum hit song to appear

People used to make records
As in a record of an event
The event of people playing music in a room
Now everything is cross-marketing
It's about sunglasses and shoes
Or guns and drugs
You choose

We got it rehashed
We got it half-assed
We're digging up all the graves
And we're spitting on the past
And you can choose between the colors
Ff the lipstick on the whores
Cause we know the difference between
The font of 20% more
And the font of teriyaki
You tell me
How does it make you feel?
You tell me what's real?
And they say that alcoholics are always alcoholics
Even when they're as dry as my lips for years
Even when they're stranded on a small desert island
With no place within 2,000 miles to buy beer
And I wonder
Is he different?
Is he different?
Has he changed? What's he about?...
Or is he just a liar with nothing to lie about?

Am I headed for the same brick wall
Is there anything I can do about anything at all?
Except go back to that corner in Manhattan
And dig deeper, dig deeper this time
Down beneath the impossible pain of our history
Beneath unknown bones
Beneath the bedrock of the mystery
Beneath the sewage systems and the path train
Beneath the cobblestones and the water mains
Beneath the traffic of friendships and street deals
Beneath the screeching of kamikaze cab wheels
Beneath everything I can think of to think about
Beneath it all, beneath all get out
Beneath the good and the kind and the stupid and the cruel
There's a fire just waiting for fuel

There's a fire just waiting for fuel

you can't hide
behind social graces
so don't try
to be all touchy feely
cuz you lie
in my face of all places
but i've got no
problem with that really

what bugs me
is that you believe what you're saying
what bothers me
is that you don't know how you feel
what scares me
is that while you're telling me stories
you actually
believe that they are real

and i've got
no illusions about you
and guess what?
i never did
and when i said
when i said i'll take it
i meant,
i meant as is

just give up
and admit you're an asshole
you would be
in some good company
i think you'd find
that you friends would forgive you
or maybe i
am just speaking for me

cuz when i look around
i think this, this is good enough
and i try to laugh
at whatever life brings
cuz when i look down
i just miss all the good stuff
when i look up
i just trip over things

and i've got
no illusions about you...

you can't hide
behind social graces
cuz i don't buy it
like everyone else
and you can lie
in my face of all places
just don't
lie to yourself

cuz i've got
no illusions about you
and guess what?
i never did
and when i say
when i say i'll take it
i mean,
i mean as is...

...as is...

they told you your music
could reach millions
that the choice was up to you
you told me they always
pay for lunch
and they believe in what i do
and i wonder
will you miss your old friends
once you've proven what you're worth
yeah i wonder
when you're a big star
will you miss the earth

and i know you would always want more
i know you would never be done
'cuz everyone is a fucking napoleon
yeah everyone is a fucking napoleon

and the next time
that i saw you
you were larger than life
you came and you conquered
you were doing alright
you had an army
of suits behind you
and all you had to be was willing
and i said i still
make a pretty good living
but you must make a killing
a killing

and i hope that you are happy
i hope at least you are having fun
'cuz but everyone is a fucking napoleon
yeah everyone is a fucking napoleon

now you think, so that is
the way it's gonna be
that's what this is all about
i think that that is
the way it always was
you chose not to notice until now
yeah now that there's a problem
you call me up to confide
and you go on for over an hour
'bout each one that took you for a ride

and i guess that you dialed my number
'cuz you thought for sure that i'd agree
i said baby, you know i still love you
but how dare you complain to me

everyone is a fucking napoleon
yeah everyone is a fucking napoleon

I cannot name this
I cannot explain this
And I really don't want to
Just call me shameless
I can't even slow this down
Let alone stop this
And I keep looking around
But I cannot top this

If I had any sense
I guess I'd fear this
I guess I'd keep it down
So no one would hear this
I guess I'd shut my mouth
And rethink for a minute
But I can't shut it now
'cuz there's something in it

We're in a room without a door
And I am sure without a doubt
They're gonna wanna know
How we got in here
And they're gonna wanna know
How we plan to get out
We better have a good explanation
For all the fun that we had
'cuz they are coming for us, babe
And they are going to be mad
Yeah they're going to be mad at us

This is my skeleton
This is the skin it's in
That is according to light
And gravity
I'll take off my disguise
The mask you met me in
'cuz I got something
For you to see
Just gimme your skeleton
Give me the skin it's in
Yeah baby, this is you
According to me
I never avert my eyes
I never compromise
So never, never mind
The poetry

We're in a room without a door
And I am sure without a doubt
They're gonna wanna know
How we got in here
And they're gonna wanna know
How we plan to get out
We better have a good explanation
For all the fun that we had
'cuz they are coming for us, babe
And they are going to be mad
Yeah they're going to be mad at us

I gotta cover my butt 'cuz I covet
Another man's wife
I gotta divide my emotions
Into wrong and right
Then I get to see how close I can get to it
Without giving in
Then I get to rub up against it
Till I break the skin
Yeah I got to rub up against it
Till I break the skin

They're gonna be mad at us
They're gonna be mad at me and you
They're gonna be mad at us
And all the things we wanna do
They're gonna be mad at us
They're gonna be mad at me and you
They're gonna be mad at us
And all the things we wanna do

Just please don't name this
Please don't explain this
Just blame it all on me
Say I was shameless
Say I couldn't slow it down
Let alone stop it
And say you just hung around
'cuz you couldn't top it

Hold me down
I am floating away
Into the overcast skies
Over my home town
On election day

What is it about Birmingham?
What is it about buffalo?
Did the hate filled wanna build bunkers
In your beautiful red earth
They want to build them
In our shiny white snow

Now I've drawn closed the curtain
In this little booth where the truth has no place to stand
And I am feeling oh so powerless
In this stupid booth with this useless
Little lever in my hand
And outside my city is bracing
For the next killing thing
Standing by the bridge and praying
For the next doctor
Martin Luther King

It was just one shot
Through the kitchen window
It was just two miles from here
If you fly like a crow
A bullet came to visit a doctor
In his one safe place
A bullet ensuring the right to life
Whizzed past his kid and his wife
And knocked his glasses
Right off of his face

And the blood poured off the pulpit
Yeah the blood poured down the picket lines
Yeah, the hatred was immediate
And the vengence was divine
So they went and stuffed god
Down the barrel of a gun
And after him
They stuffed his only son

Hello birmingham
It's buffalo
I heard you had some trouble
Down there again
And I'm just calling to let to know
That someone understands

I was once escorted
Through the doors of a clinic
By a man in a bulletproof vest
And no bombs went off that day
So I am still here to say Birmingham
I'm wishing you all of my best
Oh Birmingham
I'm wishing you all of my best
Oh Birmingham
I'm wishing you all of my best on this election day

the sky is grey
the sand is grey
and the ocean is grey

and i feel right at home
in this stunning monochrome
alone in my way

i smoke and i drink
and every time i blink
i have a tiny dream

but as bad as i am
i'm proud of the fact
that i'm worse than i seem

what kind of paradise am i looking for?
i've got everything i want and still i want more
maybe some tiny shiny key
will wash up on the shore

you walk through my walls
like a ghost on tv
you penetrate me

and my little pink heart
is on its little brown raft
floating out to sea

and what can i say
but i'm wired this way
and you're wired to me

and what can i do
but wallow in you
unintentionally
what kind of paradise am i looking for?
i've got everything i want and still i want more
maybe some tiny shiny key
will wash up on the shore

regretfully
i guess i've only got three
simple things to say:
why me?
why this now?
why this way?
with overtones ringing
and undertows pulling away
under a sky that is grey
on sand that is grey
by an ocean that's grey

what kind of paradise am i looking for?
i've got everything i want
and still i want more
maybe some tiny shiny key
will wash up on the shore

the answer came
like a shot in the back
while you were running from your lesson
which might explain
why years later all you could remember
was the terror of the question
plus, you weren't listening
you were stockpiling canned goods
making a bomb shelter of our basement
and i can't believe you let the moral go by
while you were soaking in the product placement

where was your conscience?
where was your consciousness?
and where did you put all those letters
that you wrote to yourself
but could not address?

i'm a good kisser
and you're a fast learner
and that kinda thing could float us
for a pretty long time
then one day you'd realize
you've memorized my phone number
and you'll call it and find it's a disconnected line
cuz i got tossed out the window of love's el camino
and i shattered into a shower of sparks on the curb
you were smoking me
weren't you?
between your yellow fingers
you just inhaled and exhaled without saying a word

where was your conscience?
where was your consciousness?
and where did you put all those letters
that you wrote to yourself
but could not address?

there's a smorgasbord of unspoken poisons
a whole childhood of potions
that are all bottled up
and so one by one i am dusting off labels
i am uncorking bottles and filling up cups
so go ahead and have a taste of your own medicine
and i'll have a taste of mine
but first let's toast to the lists
that we hold in our fists
of the things that we promise to do
differently next time

cuz the answer came like a shot in the back
while you were running from your lesson
which might explain
why years later all you could remember
was the terror of the question
plus i'm not listening to you anymore
my head is too sore and my heart's perforated
and i'm mired in the marrow of my (well... ain't that) funny bone
learning how to be alone and devastated
where was my conscience?
where was my consciousness?
and what do i do with all these letters
that i wrote to myself
but cannot address?

I bet you're wondering.
if you woke up today,
just to learn why the caged bird sings.
I bet you're wondering if the goddesses are all crazy,
or just keeping it interesting,
situated slightly outside society,
at odds with its odd offerings.
I bet you're teetering on the edge of sobriety,
just to alleviate a few things.

Like the fear that you're standing here,
'cause you want to be liked.
You know you need your instrument,
but does your instrument need to be miked?

You keep imagining that pretty soon you will just disappear,
and thinking that one thing is what saves you from your fear of being here.
Here for now.
Here for now.

I bet you're looking for the little red x next to the red arrow,
and the words 'you are here'.
I bet you're hoping that your heart will send up the white flag this time,
or some sign that the coast is clear.
Yeah, the moment when your heart jumps.
It's all that's happening,
and once again, it's like the first time you've felt that shock.
yeah, the moment when your heart jumps
It's all that's happening,
and I was right behind the door when you knocked.

Thinking: maybe I'm just standing here,
'cause I want to be liked.
I know I need my instrument,
but does my instrument need to be miked?

I keep imagining that pretty soon I will just disappear,
and thinking that one thing is what saves me from my fear of being here.
Here for now.
Here for now.
Here for now.

white people are so scared of black people
they bulldoze out to the country
and put up houses on little loop-dee-loop streets
and while america gets its heart cut right out of its chest
the berlin wall still runs down main street
separating east side from west
and nothing is stirring, not even a mouse
in the boarded-up stores and the broken-down houses
so they hang colorful banners off all the street lamps
just to prove they got no manners
no mercy and no sense

and i'm wondering what it will take
for my city to rise
first we admit our mistakes
then we open our eyes
the ghosts of old buildings are haunting parking lots
in the city of good neighbors that history forgot

i remember the first time i saw someone
lying on the cold street
i thought: i can't just walk past here
this can't just be true
but i learned by example
to just keep moving my feet
it's amazing the things that we all learn to do

so we're led by denial like lambs to the slaughter
serving empires of style and carbonated sugar water
and the old farm road's a four-lane that leads to the mall
and our dreams are all guillotines waiting to fall

i'm wondering what it will take
for my country to rise
first we admit our mistakes
and then we open our eyes
or nature succumbs to one last dumb decision
and america the beautiful
is just one big subdivision

Words and music by Ani DiFranco

As dolls go I am broken
And you could just let that get us off the hook
But from under the umbrella of the unspoken
I see you giving me that look

Baby, you're right as rain about the benefits
But you might be wrong about the costs
And it feeds my heart that you came looking for me
But I'm thinkin I need to stay lost

So I won't say I saw you fibbing
Or jump-jigging across the floor
I won't say you walked me to my car
And draped your arm on my open door

I know my mind is made of matter
But I need to know exactly
What is the matter at it's core?
Because my heart is just a muscle
And simply put, it's sore

So never mind about the benefits
And never mind about the costs
That don't change the basic premises
In which I am surely lost

So I won't say I saw you fibbing
Or jump-jigging across the floor
I won't say you walked me to my car
And draped your arm on my open door

you keep telling me i'm beautiful
but i feel a little less each time
your love is so colorful
it flashes like a neon sign
but i finally drove out where
the sky is dark enuf to see stars
and i found i missed no one
just listening to the swishing of distant cars

i hope i never see
the ocean again
pushing and pulling at me
as i go deeper and deeper in
til i'm so far from my shore
so far from what i came here for
i let you surround me
i let you drown me
out with your din
and then i learned how to swim

i was floating above myself
watching her do just what you wanted
poor little friendly ghost
wondering why her whole house feels haunted
i told myself i was strong enuf
that i had plenty of blood to give
and each elbow cradled a needle
but listless and faint ain't no way to live

so i hope i never see
the ocean again
pushing and pulling at me
as i go deeper and deeper in
til i'm so far from my shore
so far from what i came here for
i let you surround me
i let you drown me
out with your din
and then i learned how to swim

and you keep telling me i'm beautiful
but i feel less and less so each time
your love is so colorful
it flashes like a neon sign
but i finally drove out where
the sky is dark enuf to see the stars
and i found i missed no one
just listening to the swishing of distant cars

I was born to two immigrants
Who knew why they were here
They were happy to pay taxes
For the schools and roads
Happy to be here
They took it seriously
The second job of citizenry
My mother went campaigning door to door
And holding to her hand was me

I was just a girl in a room full of women
Licking stamps and laughing
I remember the feeling of community brewing
Of democracy happening

But I suppose like anybody
I had to teach myself to see
All that stuff that got lost
On its way to church
All that stuff that got lost
On its way to school
All that stuff that got lost
On its way to the house of my family
All that stuff that was not lost on me

Teach myself to see each of us
Through the lens of forgiveness
Like we're stuck with each other (god forbid!)
Teach myself to smile and stop and talk
To a whole other color kid
Teach myself to be new in an instant
Like the truth is accessible at any time
Teach myself it's never really one or the other
There's a paradox in every paradigm

I was just a girl in a room full of women
Licking stamps and laughing
I remember the feeling of community brewing

I'm holding here a book
Notable, but not the greatest
Stolen for me by the latest
In a long line of thieves
And I'm just about to drop it
Down that manhole of memories
When I realize it doesn't bother me
Like love's mementos usually do
And I look up to see who's different here
The latest me or the latest you

Course, you're the kind of guy who doesn't lie
He just doctors everything
Chooses some unassuming finger
And quietly moves his wedding ring
Who rewrites his autobiography
For any pretty girl who'll sing
But you can't fool the queen, baby
Cuz I married the king

And maybe it was I who betrayed his majesty
With no opposite reality
Like a puddle with no reflection
Of the sky or the trees
But after my dreaded beheading
I tied that sucker back on with a string
And I guess I'm pretty different now
Considering

I kissed you on the street that night
On the far side of four
But I didn't like the taste
In my mouth or yours
And ignoring the persona you wore for my benefit
For once I had the balls to call it
Just call it
But a lesson must be lived
In order to be learned
And the clarity to see and stop this now
That is what I've earned

And maybe it was I who betrayed his majesty
With no opposite reality
Like a puddle with no reflection
Of the sky or the trees
But after my dreaded beheading
I tied that sucker back on with a string
And I guess I'm pretty different now
Considering

I'm holding here a book
Notable, but not the greatest
Stolen for me by the latest
In a long line of thieves
And I'm just about to drop it
Down that manhole of memories
When I realize it doesn't bother me
And heartache not so dire
Cuz I looked up to see integrity
Finally won over desire

I am out here studying stones
Trying to learn to be less alive
Using all of my will
To keep very still
Still even on the inside
I've cut all of the pertinent wires
So my eyes can't make that connection
I am holding my breath
I am feigning my death
When I'm looking in your direction

'Course numb is an old hat
Old as my oldest memories
See that one's my mother
And that one's my father
And that one in the hat, that's me
It's a skill I'd hoped to abandon
When I got out on the open road
But any more pent up emotion
And I think I'm gonna explode

There's never been an endeavor so strange
As trying to slow the blood in my veins
To keep my face blank
As a stone that just sank
Until not a ripple remains
I am high above the tree line
Sitting cross legged on the ground
When all of the forbidden fruit has fallen and rotted
That's when I'm gonna come down

'Course numb is an old hat
Old as my oldest memories
See that one's my mother
And that one's my father
And that one in the hat, that's me
It's a skill I'd hoped to abandon
When I got out on the open road
But any more pent up emotion
And I think I'm gonna explode

so that's how you found me
rain falling around me
lookin down at a worm
with a long way to go
and the traffic was hissing by
and i was homesick
and i was high

i was surrounded by a language
in which i could say only hello
and i thank you very much
but you spoke so i could understand
and i drew a treasure map on your hand

and you were no picnic
you were no prize
but you had just enough pathos
to keep me hypnotized
hypnotized

the map led ro an island
in a seas of store-bought dreams
where soulless singers sang
over beats built by machines

and lovely girls were hovering
above my head like gulls
with their long slender necks
and their delicate skulls

and i was no picnic
i was no prize
but i had just enough sweetness
to keep you hypnotized
hypnotized

so that's how you found me
rain falling around me
lookin down at a worm
with a long way to go

millennium theater
get out there and buy that water and gas
ramadan, orange alert
everybody put on your gas mask
first leak it out about the president
then stand up and shout impeachment
pull them coattails out from under that little v.p.
before he has a chance to get in the driver's seat

millennium spectacle
everybody put on a show
slip the little prince in the back door
21st century here we go
digital whiplash
so many formats so little time
while out in tv nation
under darkening skies
the resistance is just waiting
to be organized

halliburton, enron
chief justices for sale
yucca mountain goddesses
their tears they form a trail
trickle down pollution
patriarchies realign
while the ice caps melt
and new orleans bides her time
new orleans bides her time

ladies and gentlemen
welcome to tonight's show
the millennium theater
asks that you not smoke
please turn off your cell phones
and forget what you think you know

coming of age during the plague
of reagan and bush
watching capitalism gun down democracy
it had this funny effect on me
I guess

I am cancer
I am HIV
and I am down at the blue jesus
blue cross hospital
just lookin' up from my pillow
feeling blessed

and the mighty multinationals
have monopolized the oxygen
so it's as easy as breathing
for us all to participate

yes they're buying and selling
off shares of air
and you know it's all around you
but it's hard to point and say "there"
so you just sit on your hands
and quietly contemplate

your next bold move
the next thing you're gonna have to prove
to yourself

what a waste of thumbs that are opposable
to make machines that are disposable
and sell them to seagulls flying in circles
around one big right wing

yes, the left wing was broken long ago
by the slingshot of cointelpro
and now it's so hard to have faith in
anything

especially your next bold move
or the next thing you're gonna need to prove
to yourself

you want to track each trickle
back to its source
and then scream up the faucet
'til your face is hoarse
cuz you're surrounded by a world's worth
of things you just can't excuse

but you've got the hard cough of a chain smoker
and you're at the arctic circle playing strip poker
and it's getting colder and colder
everytime you lose

so go ahead
make your next bold move
tell us
what's the next thing you're gonna have to prove
to yourself

I am walking
out in the rain
and I am listening to the low moan
of the dial tone again
and I am getting
nowhere with you
and I can't let it go
and I can't get through...

The old woman behind the pink curtains
and the closed door
on the first floor
she's listening through the air shaft
to see how long our swan song can last

And both hands
now use both hands
oh, no don't close your eyes
I am writing
graffitti on your body
I am drawing the story of
how hard we tried

I am watching your chest rise and fall
like the tides of my life,
and the rest of it all
and your bones have been my bedframe
and your flesh has been my pillow
I am waiting for sleep
to offer up the deep
with both hands
Oh! both hands

And in each other's shadows we grew less and less tall
and eventually our theories couldn't explain it all
and I'm recording our history now on the bedroom wall
and when we leave the landlord will come
and paint over it all

And I am walking
out in the rain
and I am listening to the low moan of the dial tone again
and I am getting nowhere with you
and I can't let it go
and I can't get though
So now use both hands
please use both hands
oh, no don't close your eyes
I am writing graffitti on your body
I am drawing the story of how hard we tried
hard we tried
how hard we tried

I search your profile
for a translation
I study the conversation
like a map
'cause I know there is strength
in the differences between us
and I know there is comfort
where we overlap

come here
stand in front of the light
stand still
so I can see your silhouette
I hope
that you have got all night
'cause I'm not done looking,
no, I'm not done looking yet

each one of us
wants a piece of the action
you can hear it in what we say
you can see it in what we do
we negotiate with chaos
for some sense of satisfaction
if you won't give it to me
at least give me a better view

come here
stand in front of the light
stand still
so I can see your sillouette
I hope
that you have got all night
'cause I'm not done looking
no, I'm not done looking yet

I build each one of my songs
out of glass
so you can see me inside of them
I suppose
or you could just leave the image of me
in the background, I guess
and watch your own reflection superimposed

and I build each one of my days out of hope
and I give that hope your name
and I don't know you that well
but it don't take much to tell
either you don't have the balls
or you don't feel the same

come here
stand in front of the light
stand still
so I can see your silhouette
I hope
that you have got all night
'cause I'm not done looking
no, I'm not done looking yet

I seach your profile for a translation
I study the conversation like a map
'cause I know there is strength
in the differences between us
and I know there is comfort
where we overlap

back back back in the back of your mind
are you learning an angry language,
tell me boy boy boy are you tending to your joy
or are you just letting it vanquish
back back back in the dark of your mind
where the eyes of your demons are gleamin
are you mad mad mad
about the life you never had
even when you are dreaming.

who are these old old people
in these nursing homes
scowling away at nothing
like big rag dolls just cursing at the walls
and pulling out all of their stuffing
every day is a door leading back to the core
yes, old age will distill you
and if you're this this this full of bitterness now
some day it will just fill you

when you sit right down in the middle of yourself
you're gonna wanna have a comfortable chair
so renovate your soul before you get too old
cuz you'r egonna be housebound there
when you're old you fold up like an envelope
and you mail yourself right inside
and there's nowhere to go
except out real slow
are you ready, boy, for that ride?

your arrogance is gaining on you
and so is eternity
you better practice happiness
you better practice humility
you took the air, you took the time
you were fed and you were free
now you'd better put some beauty back
while you got the energy
you'd better put some beauty back, boy
while you got the energy

back back back in the back of your mind
are you learning an angry language,
tell me boy boy boy are you tending to your joy
or are you just letting it vanquish
back back back in the dark of your mind
where the eyes of your demons are gleamin
are you mad mad mad
about the life you never had
even when you are dreaming.

who are these old old people
in these nursing homes
scowling away at nothing
like big rag dolls just cursing at the walls
and pulling out all of their stuffing
every day is a door leading back to the core
yes, old age will distill you
and if you're this this this full of bitterness now
some day it will just fill you

when you sit right down in the middle of yourself
you're gonna wanna have a comfortable chair
so renovate your soul before you get too old
cuz you'r egonna be housebound there
when you're old you fold up like an envelope
and you mail yourself right inside
and there's nowhere to go
except out real slow
are you ready, boy, for that ride?

your arrogance is gaining on you
and so is eternity
you better practice happiness
you better practice humility
you took the air, you took the time
you were fed and you were free
now you'd better put some beauty back
while you got the energy
you'd better put some beauty back, boy
while you got the energy

the answer came
like a shot in the back
while you were running from your lesson
which might explain
why years later all you could remember
was the terror of the question
plus, you weren't listening
you were stockpiling canned goods
making a bomb shelter of our basement
and i can't believe you let the moral go by
while you were soaking in the product placement

where was your conscience?
where was your consciousness?
and where did you put all those letters
that you wrote to yourself
but could not address?

i'm a good kisser
and you're a fast learner
and that kinda thing could float us
for a pretty long time
then one day you'd realize
you've memorized my phone number
and you'll call it and find it's a disconnected line
cuz i got tossed out the window of love's el camino
and i shattered into a shower of sparks on the curb
you were smoking me
weren't you?
between your yellow fingers
you just inhaled and exhaled without saying a word

where was your conscience?
where was your consciousness?
and where did you put all those letters
that you wrote to yourself
but could not address?

there's a smorgasbord of unspoken poisons
a whole childhood of potions
that are all bottled up
and so one by one i am dusting off labels
i am uncorking bottles and filling up cups
so go ahead and have a taste of your own medicine
and i'll have a taste of mine
but first let's toast to the lists
that we hold in our fists
of the things that we promise to do
differently next time

cuz the answer came like a shot in the back
while you were running from your lesson
which might explain
why years later all you could remember
was the terror of the question
plus i'm not listening to you anymore
my head is too sore and my heart's perforated
and i'm mired in the marrow of my (well... ain't that) funny bone
learning how to be alone and devastated
where was my conscience?
where was my consciousness?
and what do i do with all these letters
that i wrote to myself
but cannot address?

Note: This is a poem in the booklet of Educated Guess, but it is not read on the CD.

a girl with the sun of her youth
at her back
and the shadow of her womanhood
before her on the stones
is approaching with a delicate
clip clop clack
her sandals full of toes
that i suppose are headed home

it's early in the evening
and up and down the river
people begin to gather
pearls of laughter
on a strand
i thought solitude would save me
it was pious
it was grand
but the monk that walked beside me
just let go of my hand

i walk in stride with people
much taller than me
and partly it's the boots but
mostly it's my chi
and i'm becoming transfixed
with nature and my part in it
which i believe just signifies
i'm finally waking up

and there's this moth outside my kitchen door
she's bonkers for that bare bulb
flying round in circles
bashing in her exoskull
and out in the woods she navigates fine by the moon
but get her around a light bulb and she's doomed

she is trying to evolve
she's just trying to evolve

now let's get talking reefer madness
like some arrogant government can't
by any stretch of the imagination
outlaw a plant!
yes, their supposed authority over nature
is a dream
c'mon people
we've got to come clean

cuz they are locking our sons
and our daughters in cages
they are taking by the thousands
our lives from under us
it's a crash crash course in religious fundamentals
now let's all go to war
get some bang for our buck

yes i am trying to evolve
i'm trying to evolve
i am trying to evolve
i'm trying to evolve

gunnin for high score in the land of dreams
morbid bluish-white consumers ogling luminous screens
on the trail of forgetting
cruising without a care
the jet set won't abide by that pesky jet lag
and our lives boil down to an hour or two
when someone pulls a camera out of a bag

and i am trying to evolve
trying to evolve
i'm trying to evolve
trying to evolve

so i walk like i'm on a mission
cuz that's the way i groove
i got more and more to do
i got less and less to prove
it took me too long to realize
that i don't take good pictures
cuz i have the kind of beauty
that moves

i am trying to evolve
i'm trying to evolve
i am trying to evolve
i'm trying to evolve....

in a coffee shop in a city
which is every coffee shop
in every city
on a day which is every day
i picked up a magazine
which is every magazine
read a story then i forgot it right away

and they say goldfish have no memory
i guess their lives are much like mine
and the little plastic castle
is a surprise every time
and it's hard to say if they're happy
but they don't seem much to mind

from the shape of your shaved head
i recognized your silhouette
as you walked out of the sun and sat down
and the sight of your sleepy smile eclipsed all the other people
as they paused to sneer at the two girls from out of town

and i said, "look at you this morning
you are by far the cutest
but be careful getting coffee
i think these people want to shoot us
or maybe there's some kind of local competition here
to see who can be the rudest"

people talk about my image
like i come in two dimensions
like lipstick is a sign of my decling mind
like what i happen to be wearing
the day that someone takes a picture
is my new statement for all womankind

and i wish they could see us now
in leather bras and rubber shorts
like some ridiculous new team uniform
for some ridiculous new sport
quick someone call the girl police
and file a report

in a coffee shop in a city
which is every coffee shop
in every city
on a day which is every day

you keep telling me i'm beautiful
but i feel a little less each time
your love is so colorful
it flashes like a neon sign
but i finally drove out where
the sky is dark enuf to see stars
and i found i missed no one
just listening to the swishing of distant cars

i hope i never see
the ocean again
pushing and pulling at me
as i go deeper and deeper in
til i'm so far from my shore
so far from what i came here for
i let you surround me
i let you drown me
out with your din
and then i learned how to swim

i was floating above myself
watching her do just what you wanted
poor little friendly ghost
wondering why her whole house feels haunted
i told myself i was strong enuf
that i had plenty of blood to give
and each elbow cradled a needle
but listless and faint ain't no way to live

so i hope i never see
the ocean again
pushing and pulling at me
as i go deeper and deeper in
til i'm so far from my shore
so far from what i came here for
i let you surround me
i let you drown me
out with your din
and then i learned how to swim

and you keep telling me i'm beautiful
but i feel less and less so each time
your love is so colorful
it flashes like a neon sign
but i finally drove out where
the sky is dark enuf to see the stars
and i found i missed no one
just listening to the swishing of distant cars

some crazy fucker carved a sculpture out of butter
and propped it up in the middle of the bonanza breakfast bar
and i am stuffing toast and sausage into my pockets
under a sign that says grand opening
while my dog is waiting in the car

i wake up, i check out
i fill the tank and wash the windshield clean
then i'm back out on the highway
and BANG that's when i remember my dream:

we were standing in a garden
and i had a machine that made silence
it just sucked up the whole opinionated din
and there were no people on the payroll
and there were no monkeys on our backs
and i said, show me what you look like
without skin

science chases money
and money chases its tail
and the best minds of my generation
can't make bail
but the bacteria are coming to take us down
that's my prediction
it's the answer to this culture
of the quick fix prescription

but in the garden of simple
where all of us are nameless
you were never anything but beautiful to me
and, you know, they never really owned you
you just carried them around
and then one day you put 'em down
and found your hands were free

so now it's early in the morning
at the longitude of memphis
and the sun is setting sweetly on hong kong
and the big plan is just to keep spinning
cuz the big bang is only just beginning
and sometimes it's all that we can do just to hang on

and what i meant to say is xxoo which means i'm thinking of ya
which means i've been thinking of you
all along

I cannot name this
I cannot explain this
And I really don't want to
Just call me shameless
I can't even slow this down
Let alone stop this
And I keep looking around
But I cannot top this

If I had any sense
I guess I'd fear this
I guess I'd keep it down
So no one would hear this
I guess I'd shut my mouth
And rethink for a minute
But I can't shut it now
'cuz there's something in it

We're in a room without a door
And I am sure without a doubt
They're gonna wanna know
How we got in here
And they're gonna wanna know
How we plan to get out
We better have a good explanation
For all the fun that we had
'cuz they are coming for us, babe
And they are going to be mad
Yeah they're going to be mad at us

This is my skeleton
This is the skin it's in
That is according to light
And gravity
I'll take off my disguise
The mask you met me in
'cuz I got something
For you to see
Just gimme your skeleton
Give me the skin it's in
Yeah baby, this is you
According to me
I never avert my eyes
I never compromise
So never, never mind
The poetry

We're in a room without a door
And I am sure without a doubt
They're gonna wanna know
How we got in here
And they're gonna wanna know
How we plan to get out
We better have a good explanation
For all the fun that we had
'cuz they are coming for us, babe
And they are going to be mad
Yeah they're going to be mad at us

I gotta cover my butt 'cuz I covet
Another man's wife
I gotta divide my emotions
Into wrong and right
Then I get to see how close I can get to it
Without giving in
Then I get to rub up against it
Till I break the skin
Yeah I got to rub up against it
Till I break the skin

They're gonna be mad at us
They're gonna be mad at me and you
They're gonna be mad at us
And all the things we wanna do
They're gonna be mad at us
They're gonna be mad at me and you
They're gonna be mad at us
And all the things we wanna do

Just please don't name this
Please don't explain this
Just blame it all on me
Say I was shameless
Say I couldn't slow it down
Let alone stop it
And say you just hung around
'cuz you couldn't top it

i heard the sound of your bike,
as your wheels hit the gravel,
then your engine in the driveway
cutting off
and i pushed through the screen door
and i stood out on the porch
thinking fight, fight, fight
at all costs,
but instead i let you in,
just like i've always done
and i sat you down and offered you a beer
and across the kitchen table
i fired several rounds,
but you were still sitting there
when the smoke cleared.
and you came crawling back
to say that you wanna
make good in the end

and oh, oh,
let me count the ways
that i abhor you,
and you were never a good lay
and you were never a good friend
but, oh, oh, what else can i say...
i adore you

all i need is my leather,
one t-shirt and two socks,
i'll keep my hands warm
in your pockets
and you can use the engine block,
and we'll ride out to california
with my arms around your chest,
and i'll pretend that this is real
'cuz this is what i like best,
and you've been juggling two women
like a stupid circus clown
telling us both we are the one
and maybe you can keep me from ever being happy,
but you're not gonna stop me from having fun.
so let's go before i change my mind
i'll leave the luggage of all your lies behind
'cuz i am bigger than everything that came before

and you were never very kind,
and you let me way down every time
but oh, oh, oh what can i say...
i adore you

i heard the sound of your bike,
as your wheels hit the gravel,
then your engine in the driveway
cutting off