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| 1. |
| 3:10 | 
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Well I kept fantasizing your eyes were wide open
and it made me long for little last night Yes it was frantic, it was young, it was sweet But a sweet worth every bite Now I'm not normally one to be greedy But I had to be greedy with you 5 days, 6 days. the whole of the month wouldn't satisfy my only sweet tooth Well it can take many years to forge a friendship It can take a lifetime to get close But we took all the shortcuts, used our hearts as a map and we still got closer than most So excuse my staring but it's just your looks are a standard well above myself Your face might mean zip to you But to me it's something else All I can do is thank you and wish that every dream you have will come true 5 years, 6 years, the whole of your life I'll be wishing for the riches for you You dashed pretty's only chance of a compliment and gave the plain the blues Turned supermodel into last year's pull and got her down shining your shoes And I don't mean to be hod carrier of the ordinary folks bad news But tell Miss World to fly to Mars If she really doesn't like to lose |
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| 2. |
| 3:37 |
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I came in here, just to see his guilty face
I'm just checkin' He's been dead twenty years but I sort of miss the chase I'm just checkin' I've seen folk just like her, pop their noses round the door They're just checkin' If this is where their husband was between 1 and 4 They're just checkin' Nothing hits so definite, hits so hard When he's moved from Old White Hart and he's doing the Old Graveyard We're running a check. On the love we had taken away We're running a check. That death wasn't fortnight astray Nothing hits so definite (repeat) The mask of sobriety for afternoons he'd save I'm just checkin' If he could fool me regularly he'd certainly fool his grave I'm just checkin' I've seen those widows pray for the hunt that was taken away They're just checkin' They pretend they've just popped by like they popped by yesterday They're just checkin' I came round here in case he left a slate No one settles up around here, like the widowed or the late We've seen folk like you settle bills or family feuds But no one's bought a drink for those that death excludes We're just checkin' We're just thinkin' We're just sinkin' |
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| 3. |
| 3:45 |
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No one wrote a song for me
Just instrumental not too long As sure as sure could ever be You'd only get the lyrics wrong No solo Chet Baker ever played lowered me slowly to my grave The prose that Keats and Yates would save was for King and Queen not knave I have no poem that describes my charm No story told that's short and sweet I have no hymn, I have no psalm This song I have it has no beat Yes it has no beat No tapping of feet Yes it has no beat Miles Davis played the black 'n' blues Did he play for me to lose? Cause just when round midnight falls That tune's not his it's Kenny Ball's Now on that graveyard on that grave On that tombstone in the shade No poem written, no accolade No "We loved you" ever sprayed There's just this feeling from that moss When epitaph you cannot read he must have lived it at budget cost So he deserves to be beneath All that William Robinson wrote not one of my pluses did he portray those lyrics stuck right down my throat I never hit It never hit My hit parade |
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| 4. |
| 3:57 |
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That grand facade
Will finally diminish When he breaks your heart From start to finish Sisters dream of isles in paradise That ain't no use when the captain's just capsized The smile that you now know was a guise Left his clever lips and stole the prize So women take a loser's good advice Let your hem go floating out but use the anchor twice Don't feel ever sorry for the dicks Just grab the dice and hope you roll a six, a six That grand facade Will finally diminish When he breaks your heart From start to finish Sisters dream of isles in paradise That ain't no use when the captain's just capsized The happiness that you now know was a guise Left his clever lips and stole the prize So women take a loser's good advice Let your hem go floating out but use the anchor twice Don't feel ever sorry for the dicks Just grab the dice and hope you roll a six, a six So as nature gave out semen To the jealous and the sick Jesus gave out candies To the dim or partially lit And woman you're a lighthouse While the candle only drips Girl you are a shining star In masculine eclipse In masculine eclipse In masculine eclipse In masculine eclipse In masculine eclipse |
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| 5. |
| 3:30 |
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Your figure like your friendship
Gradually grows and grows The clothes that you thought that you'd shrunk Their size just froze When the body that you thought of as yours Just ups and goes I'll be happy with the weight Of the partner that I chose Your quick-step is slower But your spirit's still out on the floor And you can still hack it 'Cause you know what your feet are free for And I'll love my dear 'Til you can't tuck it in anymore, anymore Your second grey hair came a month After the first It didn't make you better But it didn't make you feel any worse Your third grey hair appeared With the fourth on your beard Your fifth, sixth, seventh sprouted out From your nose and your ears And I'll love you my partner 'Til you can't hide the grey anymore Your distinguished good looks Am the ones young girls cannot ignore And I'll love you my partner 'Til the grey hairs hairdressers floor, hairdressers floor Your eighth and your ninth and your tenth You just looked to the sky Like the charge of the Light Brigade Was passing you by Your quick-step is slower But your spirit's still out on the floor When it comes to raw beauty You've a whole whorehouse waiting in store Your corset has grown Bid you're still always first to the drawer And I'll love you my partner (And I'll love you my partner) 'Til the grey hairs the hairdresser's floor Hairdresser's floor, hairdresser's floor ------------- Lyrics Powered by LyricFind Written By PAUL HEATON, DAVE ROTHERAY <i>Lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group</i> |
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| 6. |
| 4:15 |
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If we crawl at two
We could crawl at twenty-two And grovel at The drop of a hat And once they've got you down there It's so hard to re-straighten your back It we crawl at two We could crawl at one handred and two And the target brainless don't quite reach Covered so kindly in your opening speech Is a tiny crab of thought, crab of thought On a sideways beach Let lessons not the pupils teach Justice not the lesers breach And maggots not have fingers Wagged at by leech Well I made sure I wrote this song in braille So you could touch the words The words that sail From my mouth back to the jail You could touch the words that sail From the mouth back to the jail That is posing as tongue Curtsies, bows, thank you sirs And the wearing of a business suit Lead to complaints of backache And end with a Nazi salute And once they've got you down there It's so hard to re-straighten your back If we crawl at two We could crawl at two two two And the target brainless don't quite reach Covered so kindly in your opening speech Is a tiny crab of thought, crab of thought On a sideways beach Let lessons not the pupils teach Justice not the lesers breach And maggots not have fingers Wagged at by leech Well I made sure I wrote this song in braille So you could touch the words The words that sail From my mouth back to the jail You could touch the words that sail From the mouth back to the jail That is posing as tongue If we crawl at two We could crawl at twenty-two If we crawl at two We could crawl at twenty-two |
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| 7. |
| 3:35 |
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This reign of plastic
That replaced the reign of gold Couldn't have known that you Would feel so undersold If love was built on hindsight Then you surely would have seen You were joining hands With the Tupperware Queen Yes you gave a groan When I took that throne But can you choose a Queen When you behave like a drone Where the silverware's not expected And certainly never been That's the ideal kingdom Of this Tupperware Queen I didn't mean to fool you Into feeling King Of anything but plastic And what plastic brings If gold is what she had It's what I could've been The unaffordable dream Of this Tupperware Queen Yes you gave a groan When I took that throne But don't expect a gem When you're quarrying for stone Where the silverware's not expected And certainty never been That's the ideal kingdom Of this Tupperware Queen In future when that moan Has turned to prone And the slightest groan Feels so overblown Remember you're a drone And the Queen however plastic Runs the honeycomb Runs the honeycomb Honeycomb, honey, honey Remember you're a drone And the Queen however plastic Runs the honeycomb |
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| 8. |
| 4:24 |
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I've only got one real fan
She is not woman she is not man She's got her own coat of arms and her tartan and her own clan Her clan surpasses beauty always love and never duty A beauty that feels so alien to this land These feelings should be censored they should be banned But when you put a pornstar in these hands I'm the 6 month old with the keys to his own pram You got this straight to play the fool Miss out nursery miss out school And gave the bullet train option to this old abandoned tram How do you make so special look like dross How do you make expensive look budget cost If it's power to the workers then you are the boss You make bluebells look like moss Gave a second coat to gloss And made Lennon's little Ono look like dross prostitution was not illegal you'd make cheap sex look so legal Make the hottest little joint in town look like frost The famous they get stalkers they get pests But I'd rather get a bullet right through my chest All that Lennon could imagine was not you was just a fraction and all half hearted get is second best The famous they get stalkers they get pests But I'd rather get a bullet right through my chest All that Lennon could imagine was not you was just a fraction and all half hearted get is second best all half hearted get is second best all half hearted get is second best all half hearted get is second best all half hearted get is second best all half hearted get is second best all half hearted get is second best all half hearted get is second best all half hearted get is second best all half hearted get is second best all half hearted get is second best all half hearted get is second best all half hearted get is second best |
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| 9. |
| 5:23 |
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Love takes time we all agree
and time's not the easiest to cheat The water changes one degree When will the shiver of this river turn to sea The river does no good, no harm Tempts us like pirates to its calm Lover's shanty, devil's psalm Goddamn this river and its shiver and its charm If you've got love's A to Z Don't go dredging river bed Use your fins and use your head This river's hooked the floating dead Our lives go bounding down the strewn When will we realise minnow dreams The frustration eating you and me Our only wish to be the fish that meets the sea We cannot tell a he or she But us fish can tell a we We know the seed we know the tree When will my conker conquer thee The cheaper woman and myself We've both got ladders in our tights When you've been left on the top shelf You've got those ladders in your sights |
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| 10. |
| 2:47 |
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You've heard it said a thousand times
But only heard his Broadway lines So, baby please go Ain't, ain't part of the show 'Cause when Romeo needs no cue or prompt The likelier your little heart be stomped By, by baby don't go 'Cause in the west-end show your life Played understudy to every part Got given all the dullest lines Whilst the chorus girls danced on your heart Baby please go (Baby please go) Baby please go (Baby please go) The sorry tale we'd all applaud That only dripped and never poured But, baby just go Let him, let him on with his show The leading snail leaves tell tale lines The bullshit tower the loudest chimes But, baby please go Ain't, ain't part of the show 'Cause in the west-end show your life Played understudy to every part Got given all the dullest lines Whilst the chorus girls danced on your heart Baby please go (Baby please go) Baby please go (Baby please go) Romantic love lines that we adored (Baby forget them) They were read by men from idiot board (Baby forget them) So a message from the wisest guy to broad Is best like flattery ignored Baby just let him go Let him on with the show Baby just let him go Let him on with the show |
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| 11. |
| 4:31 |
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You look a younger more beautiful version of death
But I'm scared to hold you close or smell your breath Now your body's facing east your heart is west And you can call me leisure and I can call you rest We can't stop thinking that we should've guessed We should've held you closer to our chest 'Cos our shoulders were put there for that test Now you can call me leisure and I can call you rest Well you certainly jumped the red at treasure chest Your joyride didn't feel bad enough to confess Till you placed the lemming on this family crest And you can call me leisure, the donor of poor measure The scalpel of all pleasure, I'll call you rest It's what we thought God gave us shoulders for Not to shrug in self pity or to ignore Instead the helpless ration chances to the poor We pick your weightless body up from the floor We pick your weightless body up from the floor All the minutes, and the hours that you caressed Have been taken to a place that you thought best If it's heaven or it's hell you're still well blessed And I shall get my own back when I can call you rest Well you certainly jumped the red at treasure chest Your joyride didn't feel bad enough to confess Till you placed the lemming on this family crest And you can call me leisure, the donor of poor measure The scalpel of all pleasure, I'll call you rest It's what we thought God gave us shoulders for Not to shrug in self pity or to ignore Instead the helpless ration chances to the poor We pick your weightless body up from the floor We pick your weightless body up from the floor Up from the floor, up from the floor, up from the floor |
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| 12. |
| 5:06 |
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Well the dice that I roll never seems to land on six And that 48 card pack is short of some of my old tricks The horse I bet on all those years ago Is probably still running round the track Like the marriage that I gambled on I'm due my money back, I'm due my money back We could've learned, we could've burned from the firework love ignites But that sparkler of romance proved impossible to light If your country code or your green cross code It can leave a lasting mark History books have showed follow safety code And stamp out your final spark Well the husband that I married once I should've kept him in a cage Kept him sitting waiting there To show the tortoise middle-age Cause you never back an animal that struggles on two legs I'd rather back a stray with three than one that sits up and just begs Than one that sits up and just begs We could've learned, we could've burned from the firework love ignites But that sparkler of romance proved impossible to light If your country code or your green cross code It can leave a lasting mark History books have showed follow safety code And stamp out your final spark We could've learned, we could've burned from the firework love ignites But that sparkler of romance proved impossible to light If your country code or your green cross code It can leave a lasting mark History books have showed follow safety code And stamp out your final spark Milk will curdle, cheese go off, expensive wine mature Kids grow up, parents down, husbands turn to tragic bore Receipts and life insurance all very well, but don't fully cover hate So you can't return this idiot when he's past his sell-by date Milk will curdle, cheese go off, expensive wine mature Kids grow up, parents down, husbands turn to tragic bore Receipts and life insurance all very well, but don't fully cover hate So you can't return this idiot when he's past his sell-by date |
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| 13. |
| 3:02 |
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The part of love that I'm scared of
is the actual taking off I can take a bumpy landing But the start must be soft soft, soft, soft It must be soft Some men need your attention every minute, every hour Some women need the proof in every chocolate, every flower Are you asking me down your runway? I'm asking you to be watchtower tower, tower, tower to be watchtower tower, tower, tower Some men just like the journey don't care if it's incomplete Some women like a long trip Some women short 'n' sweet But if we lift each other up Let's make it 10,000 feet feet, feet, feet 10,000 feet feet, feet, feet The reason I'm still down here and I've never taken off Is I never had the courage To rummage through love's loft loft, loft, loft The highest loft loft, loft, loft Cos when we're finally up there and the engines have been stopped the landing won't be fatal if love's parachute's been dropped dropped, dropped, dropped love's been dropped dropped, dropped, dropp |
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| 14. |
| 3:59 |
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If you could pull yourself away from that mess
Surely if you could pack a punch then you can pack a dress 'Cause hot on the trail of self pity is wilderness Like hot on the heels of heartbreak is happiness It's an upward struggle just to be yourself (To be yourself) And if I climb too far I'll end up on the shelf When sorry's have been said and tears, tears have dried I'm still the easy route to easy ride If you could just have a good word with yourself Convince yourself you're you and no-one else Restore your confidence and your pride A soldier don't need no-one by their side It seems as though there's only me to blame (Me To Blame) Pushover, must be my middle name Just because he flushed love down the drain Doesn't mean your little heart can't be reclaimed If you could just have a good word with yourself Convince yourself you're you and no-one else Restore your confidence and your pride A soldier don't need no-one by their side And I know that what I've chosen's second best And if the passport was there then I'd say yes But departure leaves a fully feathered nest This easy bird is easily impressed This easy bird is easily impressed Your little wings broken, nest destroyed The love that he talked of, null and void If you knew you were a plaything with which they toyed Your little heart would now be the employed Next time I choose to love I'll take good aim Miss out on his sweet talk and his blame Then when I miss the target you can't complain It's only the sure-shot actually feels the pain It's only the sure-shot actually feels the pain It's only the sure-shot actually feels the pain |
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| 15. |
| 4:03 |
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Little seas can be big seas
To the wrong or long of sights But the Mediterranean Looks like aspirin tonight The Doctor told me the chemist He had nothing for my plights But the Mediterranean Looks like aspirin tonight This ocean puts in motion All our wildest Crusoe thoughts Turns brain to Kontiki When it's always been left in port I'd rather be cemented In deep blue building site 'Cause drugs can get you higher But my chosen drug tonight Is the reliable Mediterranean Is the reliable Mediterranean Is my chosen my chosen drug tonight Little voyage can be big voyage If you sail in the middle of night But the Mediterranean Needs the compass tonight It gives cheap thrills to the seagulls Life to lifes little kites But the Mediterranean Is my aspirin tonight This ocean puts in motion All our wildest Crusoe thoughts Turns brain to Kontiki When it's always been left in port I'd rather be cemented In deep blue building site 'Cause drugs can get you higher But my chosen drug tonight Is the reliable Mediterranean Is the reliable Mediterranean Is my chosen my chosen drug tonight I'd rather be cemented In deep blue building site 'Cause drugs can get you higher But my chosen drug tonight Is the reliable Mediterranean Is the reliable Mediterranean Is my chosen my chosen drug tonight |
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| 16. |
| 3:56 |
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Guard your body with the best barbed wire
And ward off foe with the fiercest of fire But let love unguarded into the strangest of nights Wear your dresses like they're up for hire And leave them with your humour in the tumble dryer And watch yourself stumble down a lane with no lights School like life turns some men into mice What you need now is a little piece of mouse advice Well they say be wary of strangers Especially if they offer you sweets But there ain't no government health warning On half the mad fuckers you meet Save yourself personal tradegy Go back to the man with the sweets Do yourself schooling favour Head back to the man with the sweets Those who feared cancer never had much to say They bored us at parties onto forty a day They forced us into corners and onto forty a day The dentiist's chair is the only time That anybody ever looks at their mouth Let the dentist give their teeth something to chatter about School like life turns some men into mice To avoid the rat-trap take the mouse's advice Well they say be wary of strangers Especially if they offer you sweets But there ain't no government health warning On half the mad fuckers you meet Save yourself personal tradegy Go back to the man with the sweets Do yourself schooling favour Head back to the man with the sweets |
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| 17. |
| 3:52 |
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All the secrets we have shared
Have moved to a couple better paired So if he impales himself on javelin or spike I will try my best to be the perfect lookalike And if he wants to be smart And enter a property quiz Every weed in the garden's mine but the lawnmower's his Every weed in the garden's mine but the lawnmower's his And if his manhood needs the help of scaffold or even a winch I will gladly supplement that extra little inch And if it ever reaches tie-break at the property quiz If they've got my fingerprints on, they're my tits and fanny not his If they've got my fingerprints on, they're my not his Now you've found someone new May I watch him do what I used to do So if he dies an ugly death or even if he faints I'll be there at the window with my face pressed up against Maybe I shouted too loud Maybe you were blissfully deaf But I hope he's a better sport than he was a ref I hope he's a better sport than he was a ref And if his manhood needs the help of scaffold or even a winch I will gladly supplement that extra little inch And if it ever reaches tie-break at the property quiz If they've got my fingerprints on, they're my tits and fanny not his If they've got my fingerprints on, they're my not his I hope he likes to fly And is a good host to every guest 'Cause there's less chance of dying in a crash than being bored to death Yes there's less chance of dying in a crash than being bored to death And if his manhood needs the help of scaffold or even a winch I will gladly supplement that extra little inch And if it ever reaches tie-break at the property quiz If they've got my fingerprints on, they're my tits and fanny not his If they've got my fingerprints on, they're my not his Now you've found someone new |
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